Why I Chose To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom

So, just for clarification, I do have a job.  It's just really, really part time- like 4 hours every other week.  I'm essentially a stay-at-home mom.


*First foray into motherhood.  My "fur-st" born on my lap and my first born in my arms*

When I was pregnant with Hadley, I worked full-time nights in the NICU (intensive care for newborns).  I love the NICU.  I love the babies, I love the families, and honestly I'd probably still be working there if they hadn't had some policy changes.  I knew when Hadley was born I wanted to go PRN (super part-time).  I didn't want to quit working, exactly, but I wanted to be home with Hadley.  I wanted to watch her grow and be there for her big milestones.  I wanted to watch her roll for the first time and walk, and say her first word.  So when I went back to work after maternity leave, I went back part-time, which was two 8-hour shifts a week.  In my unit, they had 12 hour shifts, 4 hour shifts (7-11p) and 11p-7a.  They really didn't like the 7-11/11-7, but sometimes people needed to leave early  or whatever, so it was do-able.  I was usually taking the 11p-7a shift and it was AWESOME.  I was at home for dinner, bath, and bed-time routine, I got to tuck my baby in, and I didn't miss anything since she was sleeping.


*My first night back at work after Hadley was born*

Around the time Hadley was a little over a year, they changed all shifts to 12 hour shifts.  Research shows patients get better continuity of care if they don't have a change in caregivers so often, medications aren't missed, etc. so I completely understood why they went that route, but it did make me quite sad.  Hadley has always been a terrible napper and with a switch to 12 hour shifts, I was going to need more sleep than I was getting during the day.  I could get through an 8 hour shift with a short nap when David got home in the evenings, but 12 hours is hard and quite frankly it was dangerous.  Who wants a sleep-deprived nurse taking care of your sick, brand-new premature infant??  So we looked into childcare.  We are blessed that David makes good money and we are taken care of, but we punched some numbers and long story short- I would have had to go back full time to pay for her to go to daycare.  That made no sense.  I need to work more, spend less time with my kid, just so we can afford to send her to daycare for my one shift a week?  It essentially worked out that the money I would be making would go directly to childcare, so what was the point?  We'd just be losing money and time with Hadley.


*The first time she sat up by herself!  She was so proud!*



I love the NICU, but being there in the pivotal years of raising my children was more important to me and David and so as heartbreaking as it was, the decision was made, I'd stay home with Hadley.  God seriously intervened, and while this is a quick rundown of that time, I was very torn and anxious about all of this, and God really answered some prayers.  I didn't want to just stop working altogether and a position in our hospital's Women's Education department opened up.  I teach Prepared Childbirth classes, Sibling classes, etc. now.  I still have face time with people, which I love, but the classes are a couple Saturdays a month or 2-3 hours on weekday evenings.  I'm home with my kids, I'm raising them, and I'm still able to bring in a little income for our family.


*Holding his ball all by himself!*


*Learning to count!*

I will eventually go back to work.  I mean, I'm in school to get my doctorate!  Ideally, I'd like to go back part-time after I graduate.  I want to be there for any other children we may have, I want to be able to go to sporting events and awards ceremonies for my kids, I want to be a constant presence in my kids lives.  Not overbearing, but a cheerleader, and advocate, a mom who loves her kids. (And I am in no way saying parents who work don't love their kids!! Please don't let that be your take-away.)



A lot of things lined up perfectly for this opportunity.  I didn't go into motherhood thinking I would be a stay-at-home mom and I realize that a lot of people aren't in a position where they even have this option, so I don't take it for granted.  I thank God everyday for letting me be home to raise my babies and still get some time to work.  In the grand scheme of things, He knew what was coming.  It was so hard during the transition: I wanted to work, I wanted to be home, we couldn't afford to send Hadley to daycare without me working full time....but shortly after all of this fell into place, I found out I was pregnant with Griffin.  He answered a prayer before we even knew it was on the horizon.  There is *no way* I could have continued working part-time and send two kids to daycare.  And He knew that another year down the road, I'd be back in school studying to get my doctorate and would need time to devote to my studies.



Being a stay-at-home mom isn't a decision I chose lightly, but it is one I relish in daily.  I'm blessed by this opportunity to pour into the lives of my children, shape and mold their hearts, and who they will grow to be.  And for that I am eternally grateful.

"Children are a gift from the Lord; They are a reward from Him."

Psalms 127:3